Being

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Goofing

Good morning!  Happy Monday, and all that jazz.  I hope you are well.  We had a stellar weekend in these parts, and not just the Colleen and Gregory parts.  The weather was awesome, and literally the first weekend since February where there was sunshine both days.  Seriously!  We were drunk on sunshine and a little wine too, at least on Saturday we were.

We rode our bicycles downtown to the big, Portland State Farmer’s Market early Saturday morning and had the best surprise ever as we walked down the park blocks.  Cars!  Lovely, lovely Italian cars!  There were a couple of Fiats, including my beloved Cinquecento, which made me cry (twice – such a waterworks, I am.  Thank goodness for sunglasses), lots of Alpha Romeos, a few Lancias, Maseratis, and Ferraris (Magnum P.I.).  Readers, I was verklempt at all the beauty and marvels of engineering.  Then I was incredibly sad that I left my camera at home.  A big boo hoo.  At least I got to see them.  I thank my lucky stars for that.

The market was full of life, happy people filling bags, baskets, and bellies.  We bought lots of yummy: two kinds of cheese, strawberries, cherries, peas, an artichoke, beef jerky, smoked salmon, and some baked goods to eat on the spot.  Our basket was full, and I was grateful the hubster was carrying it!

I made crepes for breakfast on Sunday, in which we put our delicious strawberries, and I thought of my brother Aaron.  When I lived with my parents, I’d make crepes once a year, always during strawberry season, and he’d get so excited, and eat, and eat, and eat.  That kind of happiness spreads.  So we enjoyed our crepes and thought sweet thoughts of him (recently engaged and a permanent member of the Wheat Ridge fire department!) before doing our chores.

I washed the windows.  They were filthy, and it took ages, but oh the difference!  The hubster mowed the lawn, did some laundry, and cleaned the kitchen in the time it took me.  Oy vay.  Then it was time for a snack, and the reason for the goofy photo.  I just started grabbing things to take outside and eat in the sun, and before I knew it, my hands were full.  Mr. Rogers would be proud, at least, a mostly healthy balance of protein, fruit, and grains.  Though I wish there was less plastic packaging.  Goll-ee, do I try to keep it to a minimum, but I love a Juanita’s corn chip now and then, and beef jerky is darn tasty, too.  At least the container of nuts is one I’ve been re-using for years.  That’s something.

So to Monday and a new week.  Here’s hoping it is grand!

 

Hi everyone –

A few happy items to start: it is the summer solstice!  The peonies are still blooming!  It is actually warm outside!  Happy, happy, happy Tuesday.

So this morning I was outside reading, as per my routine, and Pema (gosh, I know, I’m writing {and talking} about her a lot, but that’s just where I am right now, so feel free to come back later) was talking about this experience she had where a group of people vacillated between treating her as no big deal and a very big deal.  It became painful for her because just as she was settled into a groove of feeling one way or the other, it would change.  Finally, she spoke her frustrations aloud and was told, “You have to learn to be big and small at the same time.”  I kind of took it in and thought, “Oh that’s very wise,” but didn’t really digest it. The birds were chirping and Milo was on my lap, and my attention wandered to the peonies, and what else I had yet to do, and the gorgeous quality of light.

Then I was raking up some debris out front and this Mortimer (Pema’s name for an “enemy”) that’s acted pretty hateful toward me for some time came along and said, “Good morning Colleen!”  It was in a nice voice, too, not at all like the Jerry and Newman exchange, that I’m barely tolerating you mister, so keep your distance kind of tone.  I said hello back, a bit shocked and confused, and continued my raking.  Then Mortimer started talking again, complimenting my yard and garden and expressing distaste at the fact that it is supposed to be eighty degrees today.  We chatted, very friendly, before parting with a good day salutation and me feeling a little weak in the knees at the conversation.  What just happened?  I thought Mortimer hated me!

Suddenly my mind went back to my reading.  I knew exactly what Pema was talking about.  Those times when Mortimer acts like a best pal.  Those times when a good friend is a total bitch.  Those times when someone who is normally chatty and boisterous crosses the street to avoid conversation.  Those crap-shoot moody people – nice one time, mean the next.

Holy smokes!  This is what it means to be big and small at the same time, to be open, to breathe in whatever is offered, and breathe it out just the same.  I can do this!  Well, at least today, at this moment, because that’s all I’ve got.

I am doing my best to embrace an ebb period, gaining strength as I swim circles in the vortex of life.  Writing, for me, right now, is pretty difficult.  Keeping a single train of thought is also difficult, and, quite frankly, tiring.  I feel as though my brain is chasing some bit of ephemera.  Every time I feel I have it, it slips from my grasp.  There are, however, moments of illumination, which I hold gratefully in a tight metaphorical embrace.  Like that last post, it came pouring out while I was making the soufflé pictured above (which was delicious), two minutes on a blue legal pad, boom.  I’ve got it!  This post, well, I’ve been at the keyboard for about an hour, scratching my head, and it still feels a bit off.  Definitely ebbing.  Hoping the best for you.

p.s. Thanks Katie, for asking.  I appreciate it!

Very cold and uninspired today, so I am resorting to my favorite page in Vanity Fair, the very last, or first, in my case.  Have I ever told you that I read magazines back to front?  It’s probably because I am a left-handed deviant.

Perfect Happiness: Being warm, but not hot, while doing exactly what I please.  The hubster is nearby doing the same.

Greatest Fear: Unrecognized talent.

Most Admired: Anyone unafraid to live the truth.

My Most deplored trait: Spiteful.

Most deplored trait in others: Insecurity.  It colors everything.

The Most Overrated Virtue: Honor.

What do I dislike most about my appearance? My toes.

What living person do I most despise? Myself, though I’m getting better.

Words or phrases I most overuse: You know?

Greatest Regret: Not loving myself sooner.

Greatest Love of My Life: Gregory Spencer Cooper

Happiest Time: Right Now.

Talent would I most like to have: To work harder. To be more focused.

Current State of Mind: Pleasant anticipation.

One thing I’d like to change about myself: Lengthen my unpredictable fuse.

One thing I’d like to change about my family: Less insecurity would be nice.

Greatest Achievement: Me

Lowest Depth of Misery? Not believing in one’s worth.

Favorite Occupation: Enjoying life as it is, not as it “should” be.

My Most Marked Characteristic: Desire to improve.

What do I most value in my friends? Ease in their own skin.

Real Life Heroes: RFK, Gandhi, Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King, Jr.

Most Dislike: The various incarnations of insecurity.  It’s a definite theme for me.

What animal would I come back as? A cormorant – I could swim, fly, and not mind the cold.

How would I like to die? Peacefully.

What is your motto? Be yourself.

Write it Down.

Howdy pardners –

I hope the day is treating you well.  I am bust-a-gut full of lunch from Dick’s Kitchen on Belmont – dang, do I ever love this place.  I enjoyed (in the company of a very good friend) an Elvis Burger (topped with pimento cheese – genius!) and Yam “Not Fries.” Seriously good.  I filled it to the brim (my belly, that is) with a Stumptown Americano and really couldn’t be happier, despite having to change into sweats upon my return home.  It’s better than walking around with my pants unbuttoned.  I may not be a rocket scientist, but I do have my head screwed on straight.

Anyhoo, I’ve got some unrelated exciting news.  I powered through my yoga challenge and am still going strong!  Today marks day 23 of a daily yoga practice, with no end in sight.  I didn’t even bail with the ugly funk that occupied my sinus cavities and gave me the fevers, though I had to scale back.  You know you are sick when downward facing dog feels like climbing a mountain.  Oy vay!  A recommendation, however, if you are in the throes of this bit of nastiness: Vashistasana is an excellent posture for relieving sinus pressure.  I have no scientific proof, but if my ears could speak, they’d surely rave about the positive after effects.  Indeed.

In other yoga news, and straight off the Colleen Sohn life list, I will be meeting my yoga inspiration, Shiva Rea!  How about them apples?  I am nervous and excited and jazzed, jazzed, jazzed.  The finest reason I’ve seen for writing a dream down.  It comes true!  It’s almost spooky.  What wish do you have that’s itching to be put on paper (literal or digital)?  Get thee to a pad and pen, my friends!

Thanks for reading the ramble.  I’m off like a light – time to make dinner, a decidedly vegetarian, and coincidentally, very yoga friendly meal, chana masala and a curried coleslaw.  Yum!

*Zoiks – sometimes I let the details slip.  I’ll be taking a workshop with Shiva this April, up Seattle way, all the more reason to practice every day.  A road trip, too!

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