Loving

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Mount Hood is always a good photo to play with

Mount Hood is always a good photo to play with

Colleen and I are often “accused” of having rose colored glasses on. It used to be something I felt guilty for, as if I didn’t have a grasp on reality. I now view this ‘trait’ as something to embrace since there are many events in life beyond my control.  Sometimes the only thing I do have the ability to shape is my view. Colleen is fond of saying “I’m not driving this bus”, and I agree.

A shift in perspective can be a powerful thing. As I look back over the past year and a half, it has been a little bit of a roller coaster and I thought I would share some of my hospital reflecting…

Colleen’s Surgery

This was a fairly serious body change for Colleen and obviously at the forefront of our lives at the moment. With the amount of endometriosis, it is probably one of the more invasive hysterectomies that a person can have.  (Actually, the hysterectomy was a small part of the procedure.  Think trying to free up taffy growing inside you that has been twisting your organs for 20+ years.)

With glasses: I have a lot of hope that Colleen will feel a good sense of freedom from the abdominal issues that she has suffered with. After all, the whole point is of all this is to make things better than they are now.  I’m hopeful she will enjoy her time in Colorado without having to worry about serious cramping and pain this September. From a “me” perspective, the event has been a great chance to be able to help someone I love who can’t help herself.  It is a great gift to be able to make a difference in her recovery and feel that much closer to her.

Job Changing/Economic “crisis”

I have changed positions three times in the last year, gone from having a large chunk of vacation to having to fight to get a chance to help Colleen for a day or two, and taken a fairly significant financial hit.

With glasses:I now work for a functional company with people I enjoy being around. My commute is smaller. I am not making as much and not as able to save as much, but a good portion of the 401k savings went up in smoke anyway!    My work is much more varied now and I really enjoy this variety.  My boss and colleagues are pleasant and I feel a strong desire to truly help the company I work for grow and improve.  I find myself very content and intrigued with the possibilities that the future holds.

It is certainly not always easy to find a positive perspective on perceived ‘bad’ situations but I have enjoyed the challenge and awareness that comes from the search.

I think I will put my glasses on now and rest near my lovely wife as she does some healing…

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A smile like that after a 6 hour surgery. Inspiring!

A smile like that after a 6 hour surgery. Inspiring!

For a rather verbose start as guest blogger here “Under a Red Roof”, until Colleen is back at the helm, I will just post some status on Colleen as she is easily my favorite topic.   I love her very much and am certainly inspired by her love of life.  As you can read from previous posts, Tuesday was a day of surgery for my wife Colleen.

The surgery started out as a laparoscopic procedure that would last about 3 hours or less.  As the Dr. was working it became apparent that there was going to be more to do and Colleen had to be opened up. I believe it became a laparotomic procedure with a single horizontal incision, but I can only play doctor so please forgive the terminology. It ended up being quite a long day with a surgery from about 10:00 am to 4:30 pm and then recovery until about 6:00 pm or so. Her doctor said that the reason a transfusion wasn’t necessary in surgery was, in large part, due to the good care Colleen has taken of her blood (which isn’t easy with the heavy monthly blood loss).

I am grateful that my best friend in the world was sleeping through this ordeal! I am also very grateful that the most excellent doctors took their time and patience to really do things correctly and safely.

Today, the day after the surgery, was a good day.   Colleen is in a good deal of pain but her vitals are good and her body is healthy.  Fluids are passing normally, lungs are clear, and there isn’t any blood loss.  Naturally I wish she was feeling better, but I am happy her body is working well!

Legacy Emanuel hospital in Portland Oregon has been absolutely wonderful.  The doctors are first class and the nurses are very capable and helpful.

I would like to also apologize if you feel slighted for not having been notified more personally.  Please feel free to give me a call or send an email as I’m trying to connect Colleen with the outside world as much as possible.  I think Colleen is remembering more than I am right now and I don’t even have any Dilaudid in me!  (The morphine didn’t do much for her.)

For those of you who aren’t familiar with Dilaudid or Drugstore Cowboy here’s a lighter view of the drug… Much lighter:

What is Dilaudid? (Warning: Rated R perhaps, take with grain of salt)

(PG-13 (PG-13 perhaps)perhaps)

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Infinite goodness has wide arms.

Dante Alighieri

Dear Buddy –

I feel so grateful for you, especially today.  That you were excited for my surgery to be on your birthday, saying that “It will be a birthday for both of us.”  That you are soooo good to me.  That you fill our house with love.  That you are a wonderful provider of all that is smart, generous, funny, handsome, ticklish, and everything else that this girl could ask for.  Happy Birthday!

I love you –

CoCo

This is a bloom from the final peony I bought on my grand adventure last summer – the Bartzella!  A delight for the eyes on the eve of my sixteenth wedding anniversary.

Blessed is the influence of one true, loving human soul to another.

George Eliot

Happy Anniversary – I love you, Buddy!

This is what I see when I sit out in the garden, feet up (of course), on a warm day – lovely.  At the uppermost left hand corner of the photo below is our bird feeder.  I could sit for hours and hours watching my little bird friends eat and sing.

Straight ahead is the cutting garden with our remaining apple tree beyond that (Red Delicious, I think).  I’ve got poppies, delphiniums, foxgloves, alyssum, day lilies, dahlias, carnations, and peonies here.  The red roof to the left is the shed Greg built last summer, or was it the summer before that?  Goodness, how one can lose a sense of time.  We hope to train some sort of pretty vine up this to hide the woodpile and the mondo Portland yard debris and recycling rolling carts.  I am all about aesthetics.

Here is pretty Paris doing some essential grooming in front of the garden we call the key (as in basketball, because of the shape).  If only she could find a way to remove all of the bits of debris from her fur.  Holy smokes!  She brings in all manner of grass, bark mulch, leaves, and other things, once growing, and sometimes alive (bugs and ants) into the house.  The key has a steppable ground cover whose name escapes me, crocosmia, lavender, and rosemary – though the rosemary will be moving to the herb garden (see below) some time soon to make room for more lavender.  Sven the terra cotta garden gnome is supervising the watering of our newly planted cherry tree – grafted with three varieties – Sam (I’m not familiar with this), Bing, and Montmorency – both favorites.  I am super excited about this tree.  We thought we might plant one in the front yard, where the apple tree resided, but changed our minds.  We wanted the back yard to be a little less open, and this is the perfect solution.  As for the front yard, that’s going to be turned into a very Portland naturescaped area – all native plants and shrubs and maybe a bioswale, too!  I’ll take pictures when it happens.

As you can see, I am always lucky to be surrounded by friends.  Little Milo is talking to a squirrel perched in the sequoia above.  From left to right: ceanothus, raspberries (hoping for a bumper crop!), purple sage, oregano, Delavay osmanthus, lemon thyme, tarragon, and English thyme.  The osmanthus will be moving near the cutting garden and the rosemary will reside in it’s place – our little herbal family.  Not in the photo, but nice all the same are mint, catnip, cat mint, lemon balm, and our Belle de Nancy lilac.

I know I am rambling a bit, but I have to share this – our cats, and actually, many cats from the neighborhood, are often found sitting or lying near the catnip and mint.  I love seeing them there and watching their personal idiosyncrasies.  Milo likes to rip leaves off and then lie nearby, happily sedated, while Paris is most content if she is actually lying on it, or to put it more accurately, rolling with wild abandon while making cute chirps that likely translate as, “I love catnip!  I love catnip!”

This area, when in full bloom, is a very, very happy place for pollinators.  The humming birds love the honeysuckle vine, looking the best it ever has, I might add.  I think the icky snow was very good for it, small mercies.  The bright green shrubs are lime mound spirea, and they will soon be covered in rather fuzzy pink blossoms that bees and butterflies adore.  The taller shrub, at the right, is a box honeysuckle.  It is a little wild, but makes teeny tiny cream colored blossoms, just now dropping, that bees can’t seem to get enough of.  I love the little humming symphony.  As well, I love to help my bee friends, as they are kind of in peril.  Visit the Xerces Society to find out more, or just plant something that blooms to give them some food.

Finally, here is Hans the garden gnome tending to his patch.  You already know the spirea and honeysuckle from above.  Next to that is the evergreen Thuja, Abelia (also a little wild looking but a favorite of hummingbirds and bees), a coral bell not quite in bloom, and the primrose.

It is hard to believe this was almost entirely weeds when we moved in.  Only the apple was here, all the more reason to put my feet up and enjoy!

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