Under a Red Roof

Willing to Receive

May 13, 2008 in Being, Receiving by Colleen | 3 comments

Andrea, over at one of my favorite blogs Superhero Journal, is always getting me thinking. This week, she asked the question, “What are you willing to receive?”

The Answer? EVERYTHING. That’s right, everything: love, hate, friendship, rain, sunshine, flowers, filth. I believe that if I am not fully willing to accept whatever comes my way, then I miss out on important opportunities for learning, growing, and most importantly, enjoying life. Life is good.

Take this photo. Last fall, I sat down on the toilet and swung my right leg off to the side, injuring myself, badly. I could not walk, sitting back down on the toilet was excrutiating, as was standing up, lying down, and any other type of configuration that required me to move my right leg even slightly.

Yet it was fun, too. Gregory, my friends, and I had loads of laughs at my expense. For starts, I injured myself on the toilet! How is that not funny? Then we went shopping at the Value Village to find something to help prop me up because medical supply stores are not open on Sunday. I bought the walker for $15 after a serious test drive around the store. I got many queer looks, but hey, at $50 and up retail, it was also a real bargain!

It was also a hoot to hear me groan at the slightest movement. I felt like Billy Crystal in When Harry Met Sally. I don’t get that feeling often. I’m usually more like Meg Ryan because I’m the worst kind of high maintenance, if you know what I mean.

On a more serious note, I also gained a greater appreciation for my body. I have been known to say unkind things about her, pointing out her flaws, when, in reality, she is really quite remarkable. Using a walker requires more arm strength that one might imagine. I also discovered how much I love to exercise. When it was over, I was sure happy to return to my yoga and rowing practices. I had missed them. I also learned to be a little kinder to old, and sometimes, not-so-old people with disabilities. It takes a lot longer to maneuver a walker than two feet.

So there you have it, my willingness to receive turned what could have been an awful, crabby, pity party into a truly fun and wonderful experience. I am smiling in the photo, after all. Thanks for EVERYTHING.

Touching the Universe

May 3, 2008 in Being, Feeling, Practicing, Receiving by Colleen | Permalink

Something amazing happened to me the other day, mind blowing, wonderful kind of amazing. I was finishing my yoga practice with a meditation before shavasana, something I don’t normally incorporate for reasons of time and laziness.

Anyway, as I was sitting there, listening to Shiva’s kind voice, I felt my body moving, only I didn’t feel like I was the one doing it. It was just happening, smooth and effortless, a birch branch slowly oscillating in the breeze. As I continued to move, I had this sensation of fullness, effervescence. I could no longer tell where my body ended and the rest of the universe began. In my closed eyes, I could see and feel billions of tiny bubbles of light pulsing and emanating to and from what I can only guess was the essence of all being: me, you, the sun, moon, and stars.

As you might imagine, it was exhilarating. It brought me the greatest sense of joy, peace, and wonder, and the moment I became fully conscious of what was happening, I wanted it to continue, to watch where it might take me, but, of course, in this same moment, I made the connection back to my thinking mind, and it was over, leaving me with tiny traces of its perfection.

Thinking about it now, I feel a bit empty but in the most positive way. Empty of pain, worry, suffering, and full of hope at the possibility of my life and our world. Now I am sharing it with you.

Namaste…

Tags: Shiva Rea, Yoga

Even better than a penny!

May 1, 2008 in Giving, Receiving by Colleen | Permalink

I am touched by the kindness of whomever left this delightful surprise on my door. Thank you!

Small Joy

April 20, 2008 in Feeling, Receiving by Colleen | 1 comment

I love to find treasure. Sometimes it is a perfectly formed pine cone. Other times is is a leaf, a bird chirping, or the sight of the biggest, shiniest motorcycle kick stand. Then there are the pennies. I am thirty-six years old and still get jazzed when I find a penny. If my husband happens to be around, I squeal with delight. “Ooh looky Buddy (one of his pet names), a penny!”

He’s never nearly as enthusiastic about the penny, but does enjoy my reaction. He loves seeing me happy and excited. You see, wonder and beauty and gifts are all around us. We just have to keep our eyes open, pay attention, and feel the joy rise.

So, when I found this wonderful quotation, I thought, why I could have written this myself, so true is it to my view of the world.

“There are many things to see, unwrapped gifts and free surprises. The world is fairly studded and strewn with pennies cast broadside by a generous hand. But – and this is the point – who gets excited by a mere penny? If you follow one arrow, if you crouch motionless on a bank to watch a tremulous ripple thrill on the water and are rewarded by the sight of a muskrat paddling from its den, will you count that sight a chip of copper only, and go on your rueful way? It is dire poverty indeed when a man is so malnourished and fatigued that he won’t stoop to pick up a penny. But if you cultivate a healthy poverty and simplicity, so that finding a penny will literally make your day, then, since the world is in fact planted in pennies, you have with your poverty bought a lifetime of days. It is that simple. What you see is what you get.”

Annie Dillard, Pilgrim at Tinker Creek

May you find your own treasure on this beautiful day…