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Where in your life can you invest in yourself and in your dreams?  Another great question from Andrea at Superhero Journal

I tried for a lot of years to find a job that made me happy – sales person, baker, home repair specialist, and finally teacher.  By far, I invested the majority of my time and money into teaching.  Getting certified in Colorado, re-certified in Oregon, countless job applications and rejections, many, many rinky-dink almost teaching jobs, and finally, a couple of honest-to-goodness, teaching jobs.  Halleluia!  I am a TEACHER.  Then three things happened that convinced me otherwise.

One.  I was at a bookstore with a friend, giving the low-down on some novels that I had read.  She said, “You know, you’re so good at looking at the nitty-gritty in books.  You should write one.”  “What?  What would I write about?  I’m a teacher.”  End of conversation, but only the beginning of me thinking about it.

Two. I met a writer at a party.  I told him that I taught a writing class, and he asked me what I wrote.  “Um, nothing.  I’m a teacher.”  “Well, I think you should write.”  “But we’ve only just met.”  “It doesn’t matter.  I can tell.”  Story ideas started to bubble to the surface at this point, and I cautiously wrote them down, wondering, “What am I doing?”

Three.  While there were many aspects of teaching I liked, there were more that I didn’t.  I didn’t enjoy feeling like I had to use a certain book or assignment to fit in with others.  I didn’t like grading for hours on end.  I didn’t like driving to school every day.  And finally, I didn’t like that I would spend much time and effort workshopping with students on drafts to have nothing happen.  So, after reading what what felt like the millionth final paper on which the student not only ignored all of my helpful advice on reorganization, but failed to even correct spelling errors, I broke down.  I wondered how many more papers like this I could grade before I killed someone, or went crazy, or started to believe that it is proper to write anyways or there house is blue, or I ran threw the field.

So, I quit.  Just when I was really building a student following at the college, was well liked by the staff and my colleagues, and actually making money.  Because, dear readers, I have never made much money.  Nope, not me.  But I knew it was silly to value it over my happiness. 

I am delighted to say that I invested in myself and my dreams and came out on top.  I followed my gut instead of what my head was telling me I ought to do or think or believe and, drum roll, I have never been happier.  Gregory will attest to that (he’s also the source of the gorgeous rose in the photo).  I’m no longer sullen about my commute, or moaning about reading garbage, or the fact that I’ve got a jerk in my class.  I enjoy my days, enjoy spending time in my head, and pecking away at the keyboard whenever the muse strikes.  It is really quite wonderful.  

Now, I have a novel and one rejection under my belt.  I’ve started my second book, and have the ideas for two more brewing in my busy little brain.   It doesn’t get much better.

p.s.

I do believe, however, that the money is on its way.  I know in my heart that my book is good and special and worthy of publication.  Why?  Because I looked at the nitty-gritty of it the whole way through.  I also loved it, coddled it, and even hollered at it when it wasn’t on track.  As I’ve said before, we Sohns aren’t afraid to raise our voices.

Tag

I found this tag over at Unruly Things, a lovely blog I visit often.  Thanks for the inspiration!

What was I doing ten years ago?

* Celebrating my fifth wedding anniversary

* Finishing my master’s in education at the University of Colorado (getting my first grey hairs as a result). 

* Gregory and I were getting ready to move to Oregon (in June).

Five items on my to-do list:

She used one for today, but since it is a holiday weekend, there’s nothing on my list, so I’m giving five in general.

* Get my book published!

* Pay off our house – all by myself (with the proceeds from my book, of course).

* Finish sewing two dresses before our trip to Denver and Santa Fe in mid-June.

* Forgive myself for making mistakes.

* Yoga like a yogi.

Snacks I enjoy

*Cheese corn, butter pretzels, apples with peanut butter, pickles, and nuts.

What I would do if I were a billionaire?

* Make sure we had enough to live comfortably and then give the rest away.

Where have I lived?

* Arvada, Colorado

* Denver, Colorado

* Portland, Oregon

 

Via Superhero Journal – What can you let go of in order to manifest that good thing in your life?

Having to understand everything.  Holy frijoles!  I become so incredibly bogged down by believing I need to have the answers.  Why must I know why something is happening instead of just observing that it is?   Why am I sick or healthy?  Why do I feel depressed or happy or angry or silly? 

Sure, it is nice to be aware and understand myself as a person, but sometimes it is so crippling that it prevents me from truly enjoying myself and actually living in the moment.  After all, this moment is the only one that is mine to experience, and then it’s gone. 

I can let go of needing to know the answers.  I can just be.  It feels good to see it in print. 

Normally I am a chatty gal, but for the past few days, I have felt a bit less talkative and more introverted.  I think the characters in my new novel (working title: Die Sleep Run Dance) are working hard to find themselves and me in the crowded space that is my mind. 

As a result, I don’t have a lot to say here, so here is a cool photo I took a couple of years ago in Venice, California and a summer play list that I’m programming onto my I-Pod.  Happy Listening!

Soul Coughing – “The Idiot Kings” – get up and dance!

Cake – “Nugget” – I love the irreverent lyrics

Big Head Todd and the Monsters – “Leaving Song” – Good memories – Gregory and I saw them at Herman’s Hideaway on South Broadway in Denver sixteen years ago!

The Eagles – “Take it Easy” – so summery…

Seal – “Violet” – chill out.

INXS – “Don’t Change” – I love INXS – my first concert at Red Rocks!

Elvis – “A Little Less Conversation” – a little more action.  Summer is all about the action. ;)

Bob Dylan – “Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright” – perfect mellow song for a warm summer evening.

Blair – “Have Fun, Go Mad” – more dancing…

Prince – “I Would Die 4 U” – and more…

Peter Gabriel -“San Jacinto” – dry, hot, summer song.

The GoGo’s – “Head Over Heels” – good memories of singing with my junior high pal Denice Romero.

Gem – “They” – light, airy, children singing.

Led Zeppelin – “Kashmir” – get in the car and drive, pronto!

Beastie Boys – “Jimmy James” – get your groove on!

Alpha – “Sometime Later” – fall in love, again.

Charles Trenet – “Que Reste-t-Il de Nos Amours?” – remembering it all.

A sense of humor is very important.  Take this photo for instance.  I know that I don’t actually look glamorous, but I can pretend that I do, even in this get-up.  Get-up, now that’s an expression I’ve never typed before.  It looks a little funny.  Anyway, I call it my John Travolta outfit.  It reminds me of the white suit he wore in Saturday Night Fever, minus the mud stained bottom and paint drips, of course. 

I wore this a couple of weekends ago when I was helping the dear hubster take off the vinyl siding that the previous owners put on half of the house.  A little FYI here for all you home owners.  It is much better, and cheaper to pay to have the whole house painted than put vinyl siding on half of it.  I swear

As I was saying, it was awfully cold outside (the weather not matching the orginal forecast when planning this monstrous task), and I knew that this outfit would keep me warm and free of icky debris.  It did the trick, while also slowing traffic in front of our home.  Here is a simulated dialogue:

“Oh my gosh honey, slow down!  But not too much, we don’t want to call attention to ourselves.” 

“What on earth?  Is that a man or a woman?  And what on earth is it wearing?”

“Crap, I think it saw us, speed up, speed up!”

Back to that sense of humor.  Had I not been graced with a very healthy one, I would not be able to laugh at myself while wearing this outfit,  cope with life’s difficulties, or write blog posts about Hans and Sven. 

Life is good!

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