Writing

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Reflecting

My mother-in-law, Martha, sent me a copy of Orhan Pamuk’s Nobel Prize acceptance speech describing why he writes.  Though no one has ever asked me, his words got me thinking.  Why am I doing this?

First, someone told me I ought to, and as they say in the Godfather, it was an offer I couldn’t refuse.

Also, like Mr. Pamuk, I write because, though I have tried myriad different vocations for varying salaries, none ever made me as happy as writing, despite having yet to earn a cent!

I write because I yearn to hold my own words in my hands, printed on crisp paper and leather bound, and inhale their scent.

I write because it is better than not writing.  Writing is a vehicle for whatever I desire.  I enjoy watching and reading as ideas take shape and grow into people, places, and stories.

I write to give myself a life I have never had, to visit all the people essential to my being and embrace them fully: the bitch, the grandmother, the bitter man, the romantic, the child.

I write to explore my curiosities (like cars!) and tell “true” stories.  I don’t mean non-fiction here.  When I write, I experience something very real and honest, often laughing, crying, or swearing as I type.  I AM in that room, or walking down the street, or sipping a cup of hot cocoa.

I write to share the world as I see it – unconventional, happy, energetic, structured, sprinkled with pain and wonder – utterly and impossibly beautiful, at least, to me.

p.s. Current word count – 9,359.  I’m not gonna make it, but don’t think twice, it’s alright.  A little Bob for ya…

I imagine that running for President and then actually learning you are going to be POTUS has got to be akin to writing a novel.  At first, you are woozy with all the possibilities.  “I could create something amazing!”  Then, you realize that despite your best efforts, not everything you wanted to put on the page is as easy as it first seemed.

With that knowledge, you spend a lot of time in your head, making lists, listening to voices, remembering important tidbits that you have heard here and there.  Then there are those crazy moments when you find yourself talking aloud, to yourself, while standing in front of the refrigerator, open jar of pickles in your hand.  “That Fareed Zakaria, now he would make an interesting Secretary of State.  So smart!”

As I think about my next chapter, I am so very grateful that America is writing a new one as well.  I am grateful for the millions of people who participated in this election, regardless of the candidate they chose. I am grateful for John McCain and his gracious speech.  I am grateful for Barack Obama, a man who would desire, even relish the task of being President in such a crazy time in America and the world.  May he write an astoundingly wise and courageous chapter in this book of American life.

p.s. My word count is 7607

Hi there –

How’s that crazy light in the above photo?  I love it when I see images like that around the house.  It is a good reminder to be present and open to all that is lovely in the world.

What a weekend!  I am happy to say I survived the first two days of NaNoWriMo, though their server is taking a beating right now.  Every time I try to log in to upload (or is it download?), it times out on me.  So you will have to take my word for it when I tell you that I wrote 4300 words.  Not too shabby.  I don’t think I’ll be breaking any records over there – some people having written nearly a half a million (!) words in a month, but I will have a very solid foundation, maybe more, for my next book.  It feels terrific.

Now, for something completely different – Welcome to all the visitors from my friend African Kelli’s blog!  Thanks for coming.  Here’s the recipe you are looking for:

Portuguese Sweet Bread

adapted from Bernard Clayton’s Complete Book of Breads

5 1/2 – 6 cups flour

2 packages yeast

1/2 cup sugar

2 t salt

1/2 cup sweetened condensed milk, diluted with 1/2 cup warm water

1 t vanilla

1 t lemon juice

3 eggs, at room temperature, plus 1 egg, beaten

1/4 cup raisins

1 stick butter, at room temperature

2 T sugar

Combine three cups flour, yeast, sugar, and salt in a large bowl.  Make a well and add diluted milk, vanilla, and lemon.  Add eggs and gently stir until combined.  Add raisins.  Beat in butter.  Add flour, 1/4 cup at a time, until it can be gathered into a rough ball.  Knead until it is smooth and elastic, about ten minutes.  Place in bowl with greased fingers, cover, and let rise until doubled in size, about two hours.

Punch down dough, divide in half, and allow to rest for ten minutes.  Form each half into a ball and let rise for one hour.  Brush the dough with the beaten egg and sprinkle with sugar.  Bake at 350 degrees until they are golden and a skewer comes out clean and dry, about one hour.

Enjoy!

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My very first serious crush was on Steve White.  He was skinny (just like I like ’em), with a nice smile and sparkly eyes that wrinkled at the corners when he laughed.  Gosh, I wonder where he is and what he’s doing.  I remember that he was good at math and not asking me to be his girlfriend, so I would imagine that added up to some sort of success because I was rather tenacious, and I’m pretty sure he got good grades.  I liked him for a long time, seriously, like five years starting in seventh grade, bless his heart.  Steve, if you’re out there, I wish you well, and sorry if I was a bit much at times.  I was young, and, well, I think I can blame it entirely on youth.  Yes, I can.

In high school, he drove a Camaro similar to yesterday’s post (though it might have been a Z28, not a SS) – orange with black stripes.  It was a grand car – black interior, a nice rumble, hefty doors that made a pleasant sound when you closed them, the works.  It even started without a key in the ignition, which led us to believe that previous owners were some sort of thieves that always wanted a quick getaway.

I remember him driving fast, and the accompanying feeling of exhilaration rising in my belly.  I remember, too, him saying, and me learning for the first time, “You know, it’s possible to go faster than what it says, given the right conditions.”  The thought had never occurred to me.  Those numbers weren’t the absolute LIMIT?  Something could happen beyond them?  Mind boggling.

You’re probably wondering where I am going with all of this.  To cut to the chase (in a 1969 Camaro!), I am participating, along with my friend Kelli, in the National Novel Writers Month (NaNoWriMo).  For the month of November, it is my goal to crank out the first 50,000 words of my second novel: The Sometimes Sordid History of My Penmanship. This really is like cruising in Steve’s cool car.  My belly’s gonna flip-flop for certain.  To give you an idea, yesterday’s post was 503 words.  I’m going to need 100 times that in thirty days.

As a writer, and according to the guidelines, I am starting only with a rough outline, a few locations, the names of the four main characters (Lionel, Cassandra, Joanna, and Calvin),  a 1966 Volvo P1800, and a 1954 Chevy 3100 pick-up (If you haven’t figured it out already, I’ve got a thing for cars). The rest, to paraphrase Kurt Vonnegut, is up to me and the hand of God, as 1667 words per day, every single single day for thirty, is no small feat.  When I wrote Polite Society (80,645 words), I took well over a year, often going for weeks without touching the keyboard.  My best day, if I recall correctly, amounted to 2300 words.

Talk about a wiz-bang!  Additionally, aside from updates on my word count, I don’t know what it will look like around here.  I might, as Steve said, go beyond the limit of my speedometer and have time to spare for blogging and who knows what else (Square dancing?!  Fencing?!).  On the other hand, I may go out of my mind and never blog again from the shock of it all.  In any case, say a little prayer, send me good thoughts, whatever you feel comfortable with.  I’d appreciate it!

p.s.  Just to get me into the zone – that up there is 579 words.

Arms wildly gesticulating, Stanley skips gaily down the sidewalk, though he is neither young nor built for such activities.  That is precisely the point.  At 6’1″ and 200 very muscular pounds, he looks the role of a man, yet, as of late, he’s been on a mission, engaging in behaviors fitting of a small boy.

Sometimes he doesn’t even realize he is doing it.  It has all become so natural.  Like when his wife sent him on an errand to Target for toilet paper and tissue, and he suddenly found himself hula hooping in the toy section.  Deep in meditation, hips gyrating, Stanley is interrupted by an elderly woman wearing a teddy bear sweat shirt emblazoned, ostensibly, with her name, MARGE, giggling with delight, “You’re awfully good.”   The spell broken, hula hoop clattering to the floor, Stanley absentmindedly walks out of the sacred circle of childhood, unable to meet Marge’s eye.

Just last week he rode his bicycle to every park within a two mile radius of his home.  He lumbered around on playground equipment, pretending he was a spy, before swinging high on the swings, feeling that moment of weightlessness at the top.  After which, he spun furiously on tire swings and merry-go-rounds, and much to the delight of a boy one quarter of his age and chagrin of said child’s mother, vomited up his pepperoni pizza lunch.  For his part, Stanley blushed apologetically at the mother and smiled cautiously at the boy. “I’m doing some homework.”

Which was true – it is homework, of the most precious and important nature.  Each afternoon, at precisely 3:30 pm, it is his duty to report to his tiny teacher, bald headed and resplendent with tubes of nutrition and loose fitting pajamas.

“Did you skip Daddy? Like a crazy man would?”

“Mmmhmm, just like you said.”

“Show me.”

Stanley goes through the moves again, and Marcus, eyes wide, giggles with delight.

“Thank you Daddy, that’s good, very good.  How about tomorrow you tell me a story about the orange giraffes.”

“The orange giraffes?”

“Yeah, the giant ones by the water.”

Stanley smiles and pats his son’s fragile hand, “You bet kiddo, you bet.”

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